fear factors

Fear is a funny thing. 

We are winding up the celebration of Sam’s birthday. He turns seven today. He entered this world on Halloween, a holiday known to be scary. I say he came that day precisely for the fear factor. 

He’s a miracle many times over. I went into early labor when I was pregnant with him at 26 weeks. We lived one hour outside the city of Tegucigalpa, Honduras. Matt drove me in to the hospital at 2 a.m. in the largest vehicle we had at the Ranch. The eroded road made this very painful and difficult. As the nurses wheeled me to the room, I assessed the situation. No IV pole, no fetal monitor, no isolette (bed) for a neonate. The staff used an IV drug that has not been used for over 25 years in the States. My labor stopped. 

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student of mercy

I echo David in Psalm 27: ONE THING I ask and seek, to muse the beauty of the Lord. During fall break we camped at the Smokies. I had plenty of time to muse and drew this sitting around the campfire. My journal still smells like smoke.

I am a student of mercy. 

If I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned my need to continue to gaze at the mercy of Christ in order to live a merciful life. As we have pondered and grappled with mercy over at Mercy Mondays with Jenn LeBow, all of us have been changed. That’s because when we gaze upon the beauty of the Lord, we are changed. Some facet of our lives reflect more purely the character of Jesus.

Mercy exists because our God is merciful. He has more attributes than I have words. In my finite mind, I like to boil His character down to Mercy and Strength. We humans are usually stronger in one of these character traits than the other. But God holds them both equally.

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unplug

Unplug means to disconnect. It means to free of an obstruction, unclog.

When things are clogged, pressure builds. Plaque builds up in our arteries and leads to high blood pressure. Our souls get clogged too. We need space to let the stress out. For our family, the mountains provide the perfect playground.

Right now we are headed to the Smoky Mountains for fall break. We are so wedged in the truck we don't even need seat-belts! Notice the items piled around Sam's head in the photo above.

To play requires equipment! To play requires that I not take myself so seriously. To play requires risk.

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mercy in action

Today, on Mercy Monday, I choose to share about one person who has shown me more about mercy than perhaps any other. 

Silvia worked alongside me in Honduras where we served as missionaries by fostering four boys. She served our family by helping us with cleaning, cooking and laundry. At one time, seven children gathered round our table. That’s a lot of mouths, socks, and leaves tracked in on shoes. Silvia walked to our home in the mornings arriving around 8:00. 

Although she could not read, Silvia hid God’s word in her heart. She memorized large portions and could retrieve verses to fit particular situations. She never came across proud or as if she had this spiritual thing wrapped up. 

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arms

I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom pulling my hair back into a pony tail. With my arms in the air and no sleeves, I saw my arms. This thought split my brain in two like a strike of lightning. “Fat arms.” 

And as insanity would have it, I answered myself. With sadness. Appropriate sadness. I thought, “These arms have held your babies. These arms have given love to your husband. These arms have baked when friends are hurting. These arms have fought for truth, wholeness, healing. These arms have raised up to heaven and not remained slack for lack of praise.”

I inherited these arms from my mother and grandmother. Their arms have been shelter for me. I have never, never thought of their arms as “fat.” In fact, we frequently heard from my mother, “come get under my wing.” She would put her arms around us and shelter us albeit temporarily from the world.

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