pain, the professor

Pain is the great professor.

After I fell skiing, my knee pain hurt like nothing I have ever experienced. From the time my ski went wonky and I fell, the pain shoved out everything else from my mind. By the time I hobbled into our condo, the pain had escalated to unbearable. The next morning I quickly asked to go to the ER. What did I want? Relief!

This journey began five weeks ago. Pain has been my companion off and on. Now the discomfort of being on crutches and limiting activities teach me more than pain. I am not a patient patient.

No doubt looking back over my life, the common denominator in growth is pain. My favorite passage in the New Testament is Hebrews 12. Verse 7 says to endure hardship as discipline. It encourages us saying that all God's children are disciplined. It promises a harvest of peace and righteousness.

I don't like to be in pain. I don't even like to be uncomfortable. And yet, I want to grow.

Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. I know, O Lord, that your laws are righteous and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May Your unfailing love be my comfort according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is my delight. Psalm 119: 67, 71, 75-77.

These verses instruct me. When I am in pain, I don't usually reach for my Bible first. I think of all the other things that could bring comfort first. David knew that the only comfort in his suffering would be God's law. He states that he delights in it and looks to it to bring him life.

Today my pastor asked me (all of the congregation) how much did I crave God's word. I have not thought about my appetite for the Word in a while. I am thankful to be reminded of the only source of true comfort in the Universe.

If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. Psalm 119:92

mature: 40 words in 40 days

My team of Built2Last ladies won the tower building competition with that genius of architecture pictured above. Strange games: it's what we do at women's retreats! Women bring adorable bedding. We deck out in our cutest pj's. We get really cool gifts (Tervis tumblers).

Our theme is shepherding. There are fluffy white sheep (and a few black ones) everywhere. We are to disciple to maturity. I needed to be called to this. In my flow of abiding in the present moment, I resist buying trouble from tomorrow or even this afternoon. That's good but I can forget where I am going too. I needed to be reminded that God is growing me up. Hebrews says, "solid food is for the mature who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil."

Oh! I can train my senses in conjunction with the Holy Spirit. Oh! I can learn to discern good and evil. My life has been marked by a destructive naïveté. Lately My Shepherd has been saying OPEN YOUR EYES. And GROW UP. This naïveté is not working for you anymore. It's not fruitful nor productive.

He is calling me not be sluggish in my thinking. He is calling me to crave righteousness and solid spiritual food.

He is calling me to mature.