faith is...
05.14.2011 
Can you see the discussion? Here the questions? Should we JUMP?
Today Matt and I will board an airplane and fly across the Atlantic Ocean to Rome, Italy in celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary. All the jitters of a new bride have been at work in me these past weeks in preparation.
I will walk in and sit down on thousands of pounds of fiberglass, metal and who knows what else. Then that large craft will climb thousands of feet in the air. Do I understand how? No! Will that lack of understanding stop me from “trusting” it enough to get on board? No!
I am not missing the analogy of this and faith. Now, I can study aerodynamics and the physics of flying and perhaps understand why the airplane stays in the sky. The analogy breaks down because I will NEVER study enough and understand how God works.
A friend was telling me about her recent struggles yesterday. Literally the chaos of life this side of the garden is threatening to take her down. Well, really, it has taken her down. She is floundering. With tears in her eyes, she said, “I cannot find the logic.” In other words, “Why, God?!”
I get that. I have uttered those words. I have pounded my fist. I am lucky she did not hit me because I said, “You will never find logic. And you will drive yourself crazy looking.”
We spoke of how God engineers our stories so that we circle back around on ourselves and the pains we have buried are resurrected. This is our chance to bring them back to Our Father. And if we don’t believe in His healing for ourselves, we cannot with authenticity believe it for our children.
I don’t want to circumvent the process of asking WHY! These little and big why question marks are the very breadcrumbs that lead us home. We must pick up each and every breadcrumb and own the question. God already knows they reside in our souls. And they take us to surrender, home.
Even though I don’t understand and, frankly, will never understand, why God does what He does; I will get on the plane and in faith believe that He is taking me somewhere. And that it is GOOD. And that is the strength and hope I share.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
Asking Why, parenthood, strength, unraveling
Reader Comments (4)
I love what you said about how stories circle back around on themselves. God is so gracious in allowing us to engage ALL of our story -- for our good and His glory. That's not the answer to the 'why' question that satisfies me in my flesh, and yet, by faith, I have caught glimpses of who he is in what he's doing.
Happy Anniversary- have a wonderful trip: build many memories!
So excited for y'all! Love your blog! Bookmarked it in my favorites. Have a blast. Cannot wait to hear all about it.
Happy Anniversary! Seems like yesterday! Your reflections were beautiful and right on target!