Happy 10th Birthday, Joshua

Ten years ago today, I was on bedrest in Baptist Hospital and Joshua tap-danced his way out of the womb. We like to tell the story at our house like this: Joshua entered the world via C-section like all McMurray boys. When the doctor pulled him out of my womb, Joshua grabbed a blue surgical rag on his way up. Dr. Growden’s jaw fell open wide at the site of this 4 pound baby boy gripping a quite large blue rag. He held onto it. “I’ve never seen anything like this in all my years!” exclaimed Dr. Growden.

Strength. A quiet strength possesses Joshua. I say it like that because it emanates from him something like his spirit shining through to say hello to the world. Once several years ago when Joshua had been wounded by life’s harshness, I drew a sketch of Joshua in my arms standing in front of the King of Kings in His Holy of Holies. That is what my soul could do for his soul at that time. Just bring him in my arms to Jesus. 

That sketch has come to mean a lot to me. I have begun to see it as myself bringing a younger wounded version of myself to Jesus. I can take my own inner child in my arms and bring her into the Presence. That is when inner healing happens. Being a mom is a lot like that. You see your children laugh, play, struggle, cry, grieve, push your buttons and you realize that it is pushing you farther in and making you a better person. 

In his ten short years, Joshua has done that for me. He has made me better. 

Every night as Matt and I put him to bed, we say thanks to God. Thank you, God, for choosing us to be his parents. We are blessed.

This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. Psalm 118:23