a tribute to my grandmother

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.  Proverbs 25:11-12

In this verse the wise reprover is a person who gives practical advice based on divine revelation and her own experience and observation. The word can refer to the skillfulness of artisans which explains the analogy to jewelry. This is my inheritance from my grandmother. 

I’d like to honor her today by telling you of a time she, the wise reprover, blessed me like a skilled artisan. This story is just one interaction over the course of a long life. The story represents her life.

The apples of gold are delivered in just the right circumstances. There was a day in my life when everything changed. It was a critical juncture. The choices I had been making had been disappointing many. And I had a choice to make about my future. I was lost, disoriented. The entire map of my future lay crumpled on the floor in a heap. 

I called Momice to tell her of my circumstances. I don’t remember the exact words she gave me but one phrase sticks in my mind. She said, “You have never disappointed me.” Through those words and others I have forgotten, she breathed life-giving oxygen into my deflated soul. She spoke words of blessing when I really least deserved them.

Momice’s words pointed me to the path ahead. In so many words she said, “Remember who you are.” I don’t exaggerate when I say that the conversation changed me forever. It marked me and 19 years later I draw strength from it. At a point when I thought all was lost - when I was exposed, naked, and vulnerable - she spoke words of tenderness and kindness. She spoke words of eternity. Her gentleness was and is a compass for me.

The message resonated with my soul because she had spoken it to me all my life – in words, actions, in silent acceptance. She loved me without condition. That was her life. For those of us lucky enough to be loved by her – that was her investment. And she is honored today by us as she lives on through us. 

Her investment in my life is best portrayed by this conversation. Think about it. How many times have you received a rebuke or correction that marked your life or that picked you up off of a path of destruction and set you back on the path of life? Not many. Maybe not even one. A rebuke is best delivered with a lightness of heart, a twinkle in the eye and a soft snicker of hope for the future. I think that is how Momice lived her life. 

Momice gave me a taste of redemption. It left me hungry for more. She showed me that true redemption is when you are struck dumb by the enormity of your failure but struck even dumber by the enormity of God’s heart to cancel our debt. When you experience that, you are grateful. And this gratitude frees the heart to dole out to others what has been freely given to you. 

Zelda means “woman warrior.” Bernice adds some spice meaning “brings victory.” I did not find this out until later on in the year that she died. The meaning of it has hit me like waves over time. That is what she leant to us – the ones she loved. She taught us to fight. She taught us to win. Femininity was not lost on her because her victories were sweet without violence. Her gentleness was a compass to us. But make no mistake; she was a warrior for her family. 

The love Momice had for me enlarged my heart. 

I wrote about the conversation I had with Momice in my journal the week before she died. It is a privilege for me to honor her today and to share her golden apples in settings of silver with you. They are my inheritance.