holy & human

The Divine wrapped on flesh and entered our world. We celebrate this mammoth event with Christmas. We acknowledge the waiting with Advent. 

I’ve been musing the incarnation. 

As I talked about it with friends, I realized that even the term “incarnation” should be reserved for the event when the seed of God entered a woman and produced Jesus. It is holy. That holy. But what’s got me going is that God’s spirit dwells in me... a sort of little “i” incarnation. Or, let’s don’t call it that, it’s something else. What do we call it? 

In the timeline, after Jesus ministered here on earth, he ascended into Heaven. He said he would not leave us as orphans and he sent the Holy Spirit a little while later. That Holy Spirit indwells me. That’s what it is... an indwelling.

His Spirit communes with my spirit. The spark of life. The holy in the human. 

This morning before dawn, I lit the Winter Forrest candle and turned on the Christmas tree lights. My hands smelled like OxyClean from the t-shirts I soaked in the sink just before I sat down with my Advent book. And I began to read about Zechariah, a herald of Advent. 

The laughter bubbled up from deep within me as I pictured him gesturing wildly to the breathless audience outside the Holy of Holies. You know he went in there at risk to his own life. They put a bell on his robe and a rope around his leg so they could pull him out if he keeled over. He must have jumped so at the sight of Gabriel there by the alter that he almost burned his robe with the incense. Gabriel announced that old man Zechariah would have a son, John the Baptist. Ole Zech didn’t believe. He said, “How can I know this is true?” Gabriel struck him mute because he did not believe. And out Zech goes to try to tell the audience why he can’t speak and why he is wild with anticipation and why his robe is smoldering.

I’m so thankful Zechariah is included in this story and his unbelief is no stumbling block for the gospel. Zechariah is a herald of Advent to us. And if Advent is nothing else, it is the celebration of the collision of the holy and the human.

believe truth

Matthew stands in front of JAWS in Costa Rica.We fight a defeated foe. Our enemy, Satan, has no more real power than the teeth above Matthew’s head. Here me now, he has power, but it is limited. The victory is won.

It’s the tension of the now and the not yet. While our enemy is defeated, he can sure wreak some havoc on our lives by spreading lies. One of his favorites is that we are all alone. 

I woke up at 5:30 this morning so Franklin could get to work by 6. Side note: Franklin, our oldest son from Honduras, is here in the US! He arrived Labor Day weekend. It is  dream come true to have him here in our home. You will hear more about his visit very soon! Back to today’s post: Matt took Franklin to work so I went upstairs to enjoy the quiet house and avoid waking Sam and Joshua downstairs.

Sam got up and before I knew he was looking for me, he tried to go outside. He frantically searched the house and thought we were outside... or maybe that we weren’t here at all. By the time I got to him, tears streamed down his face and his breath came in sobs. I enveloped him in my arms and whispered, “I’m here.” In a few seconds, he calmed.

Devastating choices can result from believing the lie that we are all alone. Recently, I saw a young believer in our clinic. He just experienced a terrible break-up and found himself on a downward spiral. He had begun to believe he was all alone. He had depression and intrusive obsessive thoughts. When I told him that our pastor also struggled with depression and co-dependency, his eyes brightened with hope. His countenance said: You mean I am not alone! 

Sam’s fear grew up from a lie that no one was home. My client’s depression related to his belief at least in part that he was all alone. Reality had little to do with either of their fears. Our task is to sift through the lies, to tune our ears to hear our God, and to combat the lies with the truth. 

David wrote of a time he believed he was all alone. Hear his process as he came to understand the lie and replace it with truth.

Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.” Then later, “Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name.”

Yes, Lord, set us free. Let the truth set us free.

Fear Not

Today I awoke to a dark house excited to spend my first moments alone with God. I tiptoed to the coffee pot then to my chair. A few days ago, I had put my journal in a basket beside the chair in anticipation of these moments. I turned the switch of the lamp balancing coffee and “click” the lightbulb flickered for a moment and died. I sat again in the dark. Wow, Lord, that feels like the enemy.

I whispered a prayer that nothing touches my life but that it first passes through the protective fingers of My Heavenly Father. 

Then, I moved my coffee and journal to the end of the couch and found a working lamp. I sat with the Lord in silence and processed yesterday. I had an appointment with a doctor about my foot. My foot has hurt off and on since spring of 2010. Finally, I found the self-care to go see about it. I sat in the doctor’s office for 2 hours arguing with Cobra that I had insurance coverage. Cigna says, “call Connexis.” 

Connexis says that we have not paid. 

I say, “we have an AUTOMATED BANK DRAFT every month that pays you for these services.” 

Connexis says, “The draft is for the 15th so we won’t have January coverage until 1/15/11.” 

“Crazymaking,” I say, “can’t you see that if we pay on the 15th of each month for that month, in effect, I have no coverage for two weeks out of each month equaling a breach of contract on your part. I am paying for the month and I am getting half the month.” 

She says, “You can pay today.” 

I say, “I paid on the 15th.”  

And so the circular conversation persists for 2 hours. 

I had talked to the ladies at the front desk off and on. Finally, I say to Betsy, “Just let me self-pay.” 

Forget the fact that I pay a large sum of money each month for insurance and if I self-pay today for x-rays and physician services, I likely will never recover the funds. She looks at me with kind eyes and red-spikey hair lining an attractive face and says, “It is now 2:45. Your appointment was at 1:00. I’m sorry. I asked the nurse and she said they cannot see you. I tried.”

I felt battered, needless to say. This process had me questioning the constitution of the United States and the greed and lust of our current culture. Take morality out of free enterprise and what do you have? I am not sure what to call it but many are exploited. I felt like one of those. My reaction to this powerlessness? To bawl. I got on the elevator, tears streaming, and left the scene. 

Back to today. The Lord gently reminds me that He is My Father and that all things that pass into my life are GRACE.

Sam wakes up and pads in asking for his chocolate milk. As I am stirring standing at my kitchen butcher block, I see a little angel he made. The message on the skirt of the angel, “FEAR NOT.” 

Got it, Lord. Thanks. These tiny letters speak to my heart and call my soul back to truth. He speaks through a tiny paper angel constructed in love by 5-year-old fingers. 

Update on 01.7.2011 by gigi